You Gotta Have Faith

So . . ., the other day I was involved in a robbery.  Well, wait, let me clear that up, I mean I was involved in trying to get what was taken back.  An older woman was the victim of a purse snatching.  Another woman came to me to tell me she saw a couple take a woman’s purse.  It’s funny but it didn’t take me more than a few seconds to process the information.   I asked where the couple went and I was told they had headed to a parking lot. I took off running and sure enough witnessed one person running while another person sat behind the wheel and yelled at the other one to hurry up.

Not having my phone (which would have been awesome in hindsight for a few reasons) or anything to write on, I stood across the aisle from the car trying to memorize the license plate, make and model of the car.  I know they saw me and I realize now how silly that might have been in terms of my own safety but I was on adrenaline at that point.  Stealing isn’t right in any circumstance but stealing from an ancient-looking older lady is more despicable.

I went back into the store I was at and found the woman whose purse was stolen.  Apparently she was so engrossed in a book she didn’t notice her purse being stolen (?!) even though the couple were practically standing on her at one point and she did think that was odd.  I told her the police were on their way and hopefully with the license plate number they could find the thieves.  I tried to reassure her as best I could.  Thankfully, she had her car and house keys on her as well as a cell phone.

I gave the information I had to the police as did the woman who first alerted me to the theft.  Turns out I must have missed a letter or a digit because the police told me when they arrived that the plate turned up nothing.  I was seriously disheartened.  I want to believe in the good of people and while I know times are hard, making someone else’s life miserable to make yours better is not the way to go.

That night I thought long and hard about the incident and questioned the Universe as to why I had even been involved.  What was the lesson here?  To not believe people are inherently good?  To discover people suck?  I was confused and a bit angry.

The next morning with the whole purse snatching incident on my mind after a restless night, I asked the Universe to show me that my Faith in mankind was justified.  I asked that somehow even though the police couldn’t find the car, maybe the people who committed the crime were scared when they saw me staring at their plate and threw the purse out the window somewhere nearby, or that somehow the police were able to catch the thieves.

I went back to the store surprised to learn the exact thing I hoped for had happened.  The thieves did indeed toss the purse but it wasn’t the police who found it.  Turns out the driver of a garbage truck spotted the purse on his early morning run.  He picked it up, read the address on the drivers license and delivered it to the elderly woman.  She called the store to let them know that everything was inside.

Whether it was due to guilt or something else I’m happy the thieves tossed the purse.  I’m happy it was recovered by an honest person who then returned it to its owner.  While I am disheartened by the act of the theft itself and wish for all the world those who did it will find a better way to earn a living, I know that losing my Faith in Humanity is not the answer.

You gotta have Faith in yourself and your fellow men and women.  If you don’t what’s the point of living in this world?  We are all One whether we choose to believe it or not.  What happens to one of us happens to all of us and the sooner more people get this the happier we will all be.

Until then I will still Believe in all of Us.

Peace.

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Get Lost

One of my most favorite quotes of all time is…

“All those who wander are not lost.”  J.R.R. Tolkien

And this has proven to be true for me.  I’ve spent such a long time wandering in the weeds, making detours, backtracking and even winding up on the shoulder of the road of Life but I have never once felt truly Lost.  Somehow, I always knew whatever awaited me ‘beyond that far horizon’ would be mine . . . I just need to keep going to wherever there might be.

I wasn’t always introspective.  I didn’t always listen to my gut.  I didn’t always believe in myself. And I certainly didn’t appreciate being in the Moment.

I guess I was Lost for a bit, but I didn’t panic and eventually I Found myself again.

Being Lost sometimes means drifting away from what you used to do while you discover what you might Be.  It means shedding all the skins you inherited and adopted along the way until like that caterpillar in the cocoon you shed the safety of what you know for a chance to soar into whatever may be trusting all the while in both yourself and the Universe.

Others don’t always get this part of you.  Loads of people think if you have no immediate purpose and if you are not defined by society to fit in some sort of category and wear some sort of label then you are a freak or a threat and there’s something wrong with you.  To that I simply shrug my shoulders for mine is not to worry about the thoughts of others, mine is only to worry about the thoughts I have for both myself and others at all times and to keep them Positive and filled with Light and Love.

So, even today I feel as though my soul drifts from here to there.  My Path is not a straight one and for that I am eternally grateful because in the bends and the peaks and valleys are the delights I cannot see yet.  There are Lessons in those.  My pace isn’t always steady and yes, at times, I do falter under the weight of my own doubts, yet in the end I persevere and continue.

If this is being Lost I am beyond okay with that.

I say lose yourself.  Cast off all the things that define you and wander directionless and purposeless to see where the warm winds might guide you.  You may be surprised beyond your wildest dreams to see what you become when you leave everything else behind and allow yourself to be Open.

Peace.

Tough As In Cookie

I’m tough.  I know this.  I’m good with this.

But I’m tough on the outside.  Inside I’m a bit of a cream puff.

I wasn’t always this way.  Once I used to be so tough I swear I was invincible.  It was a protection mechanism for me.  If I was clad in armor nothing and no one could hurt me.  This came from being hurt too many times at too young of an age.  I understand that now.

But living in a suit of armor and keeping everyone at arm’s length doesn’t really allow for much.  It’s sort of like being stuck inside a house on a warm summer day peering out at the world that’s moving around you.  You are an observer but not a participant.

Somewhere along the way and after a few failed relationships wherein I sought to control everything, I determined this whole invincible thing wasn’t working and so I ditched the steel suit and decided that come what may I would be open and not closed to the world around me.

So, now when someone close to me remarks on my toughness I know they mean that I do stand up for myself and for what I think is right.  They mean I have integrity, my word is my bond.  That I do not expect from others what I will not do myself, but that I have a heart I am no longer afraid to show the world.

Now, I may bleed a bit around the edges from my experiences of Life, but maybe that’s what makes me more human.  I accept that in Life there are going to be tough times and times when I will have to remain true to my convictions, but I also know there will be times when I can let it all go and release my inner suit of armor.

This is what being a Tough Cookie is really about.  You are strong in self but also gentle in nature.  You have nothing to prove to anyone.  You are okay with who you are.  It’s all good.

It may take some time but in order to truly, truly Live each and every moment you need both the hard exterior and the soft interior…. be a sandwich cookie and it’ll be all good.  Besides . . . who doesn’t love a sandwich cookie?

Peace.

Positive Thought Day

Today I determined I would only have positive thoughts for myself, others and the Universe.  Sure, I have a multitude of worries and things I could focus on to drag me down, but you know what?  Those things will probably still be there tomorrow so I thought why not just give myself and the World a break and do no harm.

Negative thoughts are harmful.  It is the negative energy they produce.  You know how they say it’s easier to smile than frown?  Well it’s easier to think negative thoughts than positive ones.  Your mind is always conjuring thoughts, ideas, fears and anything else it can do to disrupt your ability to stay positive.  Unless you truly focus on what your mind is doing.

It’s a bit like training a puppy.  I mean you think it should be easy enough to just keep only positive thoughts in your head but after the first person cuts you off on the road or doesn’t say thank you for your holding the door open for them, well, how quickly do we devolve into a bundle of negative energy.  Couple outside influences with whatever may be weighing us down, addiction, abuse, financial issues, employment, family crisis, health problems, the list goes on and on, and it’s easy to see how you could stay negative.

Today was my test.  Could I, regardless of all that might be thrown at me, stay only in the positive?  It wasn’t easy.  By no means.  I caught myself again and again trying to revert back to that familiar cranky person that only sees a gray sky and not the rainbow and I had to remain vigilant and refocus every single time.  It could have been exhausting if not for the underlying good heart I put into the effort.  And really don’t the really good things happen in Life after some sort of struggle?

It’s now the end of the day and though I was tested I did manage to keep all my thoughts positive.  Even tiny ones.  I wished only Peace and Love for the Universe and all those beings I share it with.  I made sure I did everything that was asked of me with a smile and a true smile at that.  I realized that while I may not have the power to change the world, I do have the power to change how I view my experience day to day, therefore changing my Life itself.

It was a good day.  I even feel as though I have more energy even at the end.  I am at Peace.  And that is what I Hope each of you has tonight and every night.

Old Wounds and Demons

You can run from your demons.  You can try to hide from them.  In the end though, I think you have to make peace with them, or at least accept that they’ll always be a part of you.  I don’t believe you can exorcise them but maybe, just maybe they will diminish their hold with time or at least not make their presence known very often.

For the most part I’m at peace with my past.  My demons and I have come to terms.  I realize they will always be with me but that doesn’t mean I will be held back by them.  It was important at some point to excavate the dark places within me, dark places we all have, to shed proverbial light on them so I could stop letting them rule me and my life choices.

The thing about old wounds and demons is that sometimes you have no idea they are running your life until you do really take the time to figure out why you’ve hit a wall or why the same negative patterns keep repeating.  You have to go so far down the rabbit hole and into what feels like the crawl space of the Universe to the source of your souls’ unrest.

I think everyone has a Dark Night of Soul.  For some it takes a short period of time but for others like me, it takes years to move beyond the things that hurt you deeply.  Old wounds have that power.  They can hurt even though you think they’ve healed.

Last night, as I began to shut my mind down, images of my childhood abuse came up front and center.  I wasn’t thinking about my past and still today have no clue as to why my mind decided to play these movies on a continuous loop.  In the past I would have spent hours reliving these nightmares but thankfully time and much learning have helped me to be able to change my thoughts.  I breathed deeply and filled my mind with other more productive thoughts like wishing Peace and Love out from me to the Universe.  Soon I fell asleep.

It has been many, many years since I was young and yet the old wounds and demons are still there deep down inside.  Who knows why they choose to resurface.  Maybe it’s the full moon, or that my energy level is down, or maybe it has to do with global warming and continental shifts.  I don’t know.  I just know that like meeting an acquaintance from the past I acknowledge them and move on.  Yes, the wounds are there.  Yes, I will not just survive, but thrive.

I sincerely hope that each of you wrestling with whatever brings you down can learn to put the demons in their place and find a way to overcome the obstacles that hold you back.  The mental ones are hell to deal with but deal with them you must.

Life in all its messy glory is meant to be Lived to its fullest.  No regrets.  No time wasted because time is something you can’t get back.

Live.  Learn.  Move on.  Wounds, Demons and all.

Peace.

The Red Cape

Did you ever run around with a red sheet tied around your neck pretending you were a superhero?  I did.

I spent many days thinking I was invincible.  Maybe it was the glory of youth that had me swinging from tree limbs and climbing up rock walls, or maybe that’s the ignorance of youth that comes with realizing what you think is your life stretching so far out in front of you that you can’t comprehend the end.  I’m not sure but I do know I did a lot of things that I might not do now having realized I’m not going to live forever. 

I also believed in the impossible.  I believed dreams do come true and I knew, somehow, in a deeper part of me that I was connected to everything.  I also knew as much as I was entertained by cartoons like anyone else that there wasn’t anyone that would save me.  I knew I would be saving myself. 

I was my own superhero.

I never looked to anyone else to bring me that far horizon. (a nod to a certain pirate on that one)  I knew without a doubt, even as young as I was, my fate, my destiny and my dreams rested on my shoulders and if I stumbled under the weight of the fantastic future I saw for myself, well, then, I’d simply have to step up and keep going.

Clearly, I grew up with a strong sense of Self.  I also knew I was more powerful working with others than I could ever be alone and I knew if I truly believed, I could make a difference.  Maybe I couldn’t leap buildings in a single bound, or see through walls, but I knew obstacles were just that.  They were many and varied but they could be overcome and this is just as true for one individual as it is for the World.

So, I say, dust off that red cape and be Fearless.  You can overcome.  You can rise up and reach your stars.  You can if you believe.

We can.  If we Believe.

Peace.

Do You?

I still believe in Magic.  I believe in the impossible though I don’t always understand how it’s made possible.  I believe my life is a Gift.  I believe I am here to experience the Experience.

Back to the magic . . . as a creative soul I have been blessed with a vast imagination and thankfully when I was young I wasn’t told to rein it in. . .  Literally.  I didn’t have imaginary friends when I was little, because I wasn’t allowed to be around horses, I invented an entire imaginary stable.  At recess I would head all the way across the fields that were the playground of this rural school and between two maple trees, I kept my horses.  You always knew when I was tending my friends because I would hold my right hand a bit above my head because, well, I was small and the horses in my stable were tall so as I guided them with a lead rope I had to raise my hand into a small fist and walk around.  Unless of course I was riding them and that was an entirely different gesture which I’m sure looked several shades of abnormal if you didn’t know what I was up to.

I knew animals could talk.  I knew beyond a doubt that if I could ever find the end of the rainbow not only would there be a giant kettle of gold coins but a little man clad in green to award it to me.  The cereal, by the way, didn’t help matters in a young mind.

Laughing out loud.  🙂

Even before the herd, I remember believing the thunder during storms really were angels bowling or some such thing.  I wasn’t afraid as I lay in my bed at night; I merely wanted some proof that some otherworldly thing was at work.

And later, when I had grown and was introduced to an amazing array of fantasy authors, I believed in dragons and when I was an adult and I was lucky enough to actually visit actual castles I smiled to myself as I thought about those fierce, scaled, winged, fire-breathing beasts.

I still believe Twilight is the most magical of times, the moment when two worlds collide, the living and the next.  I believe in the magic of Belief meaning if you believe it, it can Be.

I also know that as much as my curiosity might wish to know the ‘Man Behind the Curtain’, I’ve no real desire to have many of my questions answered.  Mystery and Belief are such important parts of who we are and what we do.  I don’t want to know everything can be explained.  I have been witness to things that defy explanation and I am quite happy not looking under the rug per se.

I am still full of questions, more now maybe than even when I was younger, but I also know in the end, it doesn’t matter.  The Universe works the way the Universe works.  My belief in any superstition or myth does not affect the outcome.  I am not in control.  And knowing how it all worked wouldn’t make me more in control.

So, for as long as I am given . . . here’s to the Leprechauns, and Birthday Wishes coming true.  Here’s to the Imaginary Friends and the Hope we all carry for each other.  Here’s to the Unexplainable and the Mysteries.  Here’s to the Unknown and of course and always . . . the Magic that is Life.

Peace.