I’m tough. I know this. I’m good with this.
But I’m tough on the outside. Inside I’m a bit of a cream puff.
I wasn’t always this way. Once I used to be so tough I swear I was invincible. It was a protection mechanism for me. If I was clad in armor nothing and no one could hurt me. This came from being hurt too many times at too young of an age. I understand that now.
But living in a suit of armor and keeping everyone at arm’s length doesn’t really allow for much. It’s sort of like being stuck inside a house on a warm summer day peering out at the world that’s moving around you. You are an observer but not a participant.
Somewhere along the way and after a few failed relationships wherein I sought to control everything, I determined this whole invincible thing wasn’t working and so I ditched the steel suit and decided that come what may I would be open and not closed to the world around me.
So, now when someone close to me remarks on my toughness I know they mean that I do stand up for myself and for what I think is right. They mean I have integrity, my word is my bond. That I do not expect from others what I will not do myself, but that I have a heart I am no longer afraid to show the world.
Now, I may bleed a bit around the edges from my experiences of Life, but maybe that’s what makes me more human. I accept that in Life there are going to be tough times and times when I will have to remain true to my convictions, but I also know there will be times when I can let it all go and release my inner suit of armor.
This is what being a Tough Cookie is really about. You are strong in self but also gentle in nature. You have nothing to prove to anyone. You are okay with who you are. It’s all good.
It may take some time but in order to truly, truly Live each and every moment you need both the hard exterior and the soft interior…. be a sandwich cookie and it’ll be all good. Besides . . . who doesn’t love a sandwich cookie?