You can run from your demons. You can try to hide from them. In the end though, I think you have to make peace with them, or at least accept that they’ll always be a part of you. I don’t believe you can exorcise them but maybe, just maybe they will diminish their hold with time or at least not make their presence known very often.
For the most part I’m at peace with my past. My demons and I have come to terms. I realize they will always be with me but that doesn’t mean I will be held back by them. It was important at some point to excavate the dark places within me, dark places we all have, to shed proverbial light on them so I could stop letting them rule me and my life choices.
The thing about old wounds and demons is that sometimes you have no idea they are running your life until you do really take the time to figure out why you’ve hit a wall or why the same negative patterns keep repeating. You have to go so far down the rabbit hole and into what feels like the crawl space of the Universe to the source of your souls’ unrest.
I think everyone has a Dark Night of Soul. For some it takes a short period of time but for others like me, it takes years to move beyond the things that hurt you deeply. Old wounds have that power. They can hurt even though you think they’ve healed.
Last night, as I began to shut my mind down, images of my childhood abuse came up front and center. I wasn’t thinking about my past and still today have no clue as to why my mind decided to play these movies on a continuous loop. In the past I would have spent hours reliving these nightmares but thankfully time and much learning have helped me to be able to change my thoughts. I breathed deeply and filled my mind with other more productive thoughts like wishing Peace and Love out from me to the Universe. Soon I fell asleep.
It has been many, many years since I was young and yet the old wounds and demons are still there deep down inside. Who knows why they choose to resurface. Maybe it’s the full moon, or that my energy level is down, or maybe it has to do with global warming and continental shifts. I don’t know. I just know that like meeting an acquaintance from the past I acknowledge them and move on. Yes, the wounds are there. Yes, I will not just survive, but thrive.
I sincerely hope that each of you wrestling with whatever brings you down can learn to put the demons in their place and find a way to overcome the obstacles that hold you back. The mental ones are hell to deal with but deal with them you must.
Life in all its messy glory is meant to be Lived to its fullest. No regrets. No time wasted because time is something you can’t get back.
Live. Learn. Move on. Wounds, Demons and all.