I was frustrated. I was sad. I did not know the right course of action or if even if I was on the right Path. I asked for clarification and then began the process of saging. I used White Sage and after offering a prayer to Mother Earth and Father Sky and all those that might be in the Universe and those that would not be offended if I did not know or call them by their proper names and those that held the North, and the East and the South and the West, I moved through my dwelling.
I opened every drawer and door there was and moved throughout the rooms with purpose and prayer. I saw myself then, as a person, a shaman perhaps with half a white face and half a black face shaking this small torch of barely burning herb, but it did not scare me. Instead it brought me Peace.
I played a Native American flute soundtrack and continued my movements, making sure I rid the place of every negative ounce of energy. Negative energy is a waste. Every moment you spend in bitterness and anger you grow negative energy. It saps the good from you and from us all.
When I was finally done, I sat down and quietly, in the candlelight, let my thoughts release themselves. I was troubled. I had tried to be something I was not and now it was time to get back to being what I am.
Silly me, I let that go. I let something else distract me from my own Path.
So, in the darkness as I asked for clarification, my Ancestors answered. I am part Native American but I admit I have been remiss in really learning how to work with the gifts I have been given. Despite that or rather in-spite of that, my Ancestors showed up tonight. They filled the air around me both in the music and in the message I received.
They told me I am White Pine and though I want to learn alot in a short span of time, it is not to be. I will take many long moons to acquire that which I long to know. I am like the tree. I will grow but I will learn along the way. Nothing else that I might wish for will lead me to a quicker ending. I am White Pine.
I thanked those that had heard my call. I honored them again with the White Sage and then when all was done, I did what the modern age does and got on the internet to research White Pine.
Turns out White Pine is the Tree of Peace.
How very special to me.
Not everyone gets me and I’ve suffered great loss because of that, but in the end I’d rather leave this world knowing I did the best I could, where I could, when I could, than worry about what exactly happened to me. I am only the vessel, I am not the solution.
Amazing and humbling in the midst of a storm.